There are easy answers to most of these questions.

How did I end up with an ex like this to deal with?

With him came her!

What have I done to cause this reaction from her?

Chances are, you have nothing to do with the negative reaction that you’re recieving from her. HOWEVER, it is now because of you that she is miserable, steming from an insecurity that lies within her. If it wasn’t you, it would be another woman in your place asking the same questions.

What can I do to make things better for all of us?

My husband tells me to ignore her but sometimes I CAN’T, it’s just not that easy.  Try to compromise with her as much as you can without compromising your dignity.

FOR EXAMPLE:     If she asks you to give her child a flinstone vitamin everyday, just do it for your own sanity. To argue about such a little thing is pointless, and is exactly the type of scenario she is looking to instigate. DO NOT TREAT YOUR STEP CHILD LIKE GLASS “Because she says so) . Everyone must be treated equally.

Why won't she just go away?

Because misery loves company and as long as she thinks that she is making you miserable, she will stick around. You can only hope that after your stepchilds 18th birthday, she goes away. Until that time, take a deep breath, count to 10 and visit my STRESS RELIEF page.